Reality Check

Over Analyzing Starts – What’s wrong with me?

So what do I do after a shit day at the doctors, cry, and cry some more, and I felt like it was the end of the world, and this was without even getting the results. Like any person who gets told something by their doctor these days the first few hours later I spent on the homepage of Google. All the big words and topics that were brought up that I didn’t understand; I wanted to know what they were.

Big mistake, I highly not recommend that. It becomes information overload and in my case, since I didn’t know much about sleep disorders, prehypertension, or Vit D or much of anything really I instead started to over-analyzing every little comment the doctors had mentioned that I could remember.  In my overanalyzing every thought of mine, I really began to see just how unhealthy and how low of a priority I had made myself. I was taking care of everything else but not myself. I was given warning signs that really should have been picked up on but, I chose not to listen to my body, I made everything else a priority before myself. I was at a complete unbalance and at a health crossroad.

Staring me In the face my Vission Board

Crying lying on my bed and feeling like it was the end of the world it’s like I had a moment as I was looked over to my vision board. You see  I am a lister, I write down my goals, our family goals, we make vision boards on every aspect of our life we like to work with plans, we have been working with visions boards, since the start of our marriage, and me long before that even. I personally thrive on that satisfaction feeling you great when you can check mark a goal from a list. So, as I am looking over I start to realize something. Guess what part of me and the family  I didn’t have a plan for . you guessed it, health. Even that wasn’t a sign to me, what a dumb ass supermom I was. I had many categories, motherhood, career, travel, education, and others, but no, health was not on any of my lists. Never was it a priority, not even my losing weight wasn’t higher up on the lists than it should have been. I wasn’t even visualizing myself as a healthy person and working towards that. I felt so stupid.

Developing a Health Strategy

Today it’s at the top of my list and I have a full on health strategy, you’ll hear stories on that soon. No wonder I was feeling like shit for awhile now, I wasn’t a priority., not even to myself. Things are about to change. So with anything else, I first had to set out to change the way I was thinking. I had to suck it up, put on the big girl panties and take complete responsibility for the way I had been taking care of myself lately.  I did a complete switcheroo and decided that’s it, I am going to change, on my terms, my way, for me. I feel like shit now, but it’s my own fault. So let’s fix this. I didn’t get here overnight so don’t expect a quick fix.   I repeated this to myself over and over. This was not one of the quick fixes if I wanted to change and get rid of my bad habits for good. I started a health list, based on what I knew at the time. Writing out a pro’s list and con’s list. Yes another one of those, really she did that. Trust me, do it, nothing like having the hard truth really stare right back at you for a good cold shower and, to be honest with myself.  I started out with smoking as that was the first bad habit I had to get rid off but that initial list ended up being called the bad habit list.